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Advice for Loneliness

Help with Loneliness

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Loneliness is a feeling which many people would not like to endure. In order to overcome loneliness, people tend to do anything they can to fill this emptiness in their lives. And sometimes when loneliness becomes so unbearable, they are prone to make certain mistakes out of their conscience that will only worsen their loneliness.

Check out these 5 common mistakes that people often make when trying to overcome their loneliness, and try to avoid them in your own quest to conquer loneliness.

1. Too Obsessed With Work

One common method many people used to overcome their loneliness is by burying themselves with a huge pile of work. The whole idea is to keep their mind busy so that they will not focus on their loneliness. This may help ease loneliness for a while, but it will not relieve loneliness permanently. Working, in this case is just a coping mechanism to keep the person's mind off a reality he does not want to face at the moment. But if excessive work continues for months, it becomes part of the problem rather than part of the solution. Work is not a permanent relief from loneliness.

2. Too Easily Succumbed to Unrealistic Relationship

When a person is lonely, he/she is more likely to give in to a relationship which they already knew it probably wouldn't last. They know that this person is either already married, engaged, seeing someone or just plainly doesn't fit into the profile of an ideal mate. But they still continue with the relationship because even though they knew the relationship may be unrealistic, to them it is better than having to suffer loneliness. Their hearts were yearning for romance and companionship so bad that they start to ignore their conscience and principals. And when the reality finally sank in, when the relationship starts to go sour and comes to an end, the loneliness feeling resurface again.

3. Craving for Popularity

It is common for lonely persons to think that a possible antidote to their loneliness is to achieve a state of greater popularity. The fantasy is that the recognition and admiration and applause of many people will make one feel secure, accepted - even loved. That fantasy is bankrupt. Many politicians and movie stars still feel lonely although they are recognized and admired by many. This is because in order to be popular among a fairly large group of people, you have to spread yourself thin. The larger the group, the more you are required to have superficial contacts with a lot of people. These contacts are not meaningful in themselves, their only purpose is to feed the craving for popularity.

4. Engage in Unhealthy Activities

Loneliness can easily lead to all kinds of unhealthy activities when left unchecked. Drugs, alcohol, premarital or extramarital sex can free us from loneliness for a time, but when the effect of drugs and alcohol starts to wear off, or when the excitement of sex beyond marriage starts to fade, the feeling of loneliness returns, often with even more intensity. Gambling, like drugs, can relieve loneliness for a short period of time, but when Gambling becomes an unbeatable habit, it too can leads to all kinds of social problems.

5. Choosing the Wrong Group of Friends

Friends are important to help us overcome our loneliness. Friends or any social group functions much like a family. If you identify with a group that are generally accepted by society, you will have no problems acquiring a sense of belongingness that can relieve your loneliness. But if you identify with a gang, a cult or a group that is at odds with the general society, you will overcome loneliness to some extent, but when the deviant group runs into a harsh clash with the general society, as it often does, you will find you lives going down together with the group, and you have no one supportive that you can rely on. So pick your group of friends carefully. As a rule of thumb, make sure they fit into the general society in some meaningful way.

 

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